Illusions of a Heart
by CUtopia
Summary: Love is blind - Helena Ravenclaw has to learn that


Entry for "History of Magic" at "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments)"

Entry Fee for the "Hogwarts Fair 2014 Challenge/Competition"

Love makes us do strange things, here's your assignment: **Write about Helena Ravenclaw. **Alternatively, write about Love and Betrayal.

I hope you like it, leave me your opinion :)

* * *

><p>Godric Gryffindor.<p>

Helena could not stop looking at him, she could not stop thinking of him. He was in her head, in her dreams, all the time, smiling at her, saying her name in such a soft way it made her heart flutter. Every time he walked past her she felt goose bumps cover her skin and when he spoke to her... He looked so wild, but he was still so kind and friendly and brave, chivalrous. He made her feel as if she was the most unique person on the planet only by smiling at her across a room full of people and Helena asked herself what they could be if they wanted to.

It was a beautifully sunny summer day at Hogwarts and Helena was strolling around on the meadows surrounding the castle, wearing her favourite dress made of rose fabric, her brown hair wafting open in the slight warm breeze. She just picked some flowers as she heard a horse coming closer and as she turned she saw the imposing figure of Godric Gryffindor on his stallion, a bow hanging around his back, obviously returning from hunting. She started to run towards him, but as she realised this she slowed down her pace and they met under a beautiful willow.

"Lady Helena, what a lovely surprise to see you out here," Godric smiled, stopping in front of Helena and dismounted his horse, patting it on the neck before it made its way back to the castle on its own. Helena felt her heart racing as she curtseyed, returning his smile with her deepest feelings.

"This sounds as if I never leave my study room, Sir Godric. Was your hunting successful?", Helena returned the casualties, trying to appear as normal as ever while her feelings seemed to in a overdrive state.

"I did not meant to offend you, Mylady, and I hope you take it as a compliment if I say that your constant studying is a virtue that is worthwhile. It makes you a desirable interlocutor, Helena," he explained and his green eyes twinkled at her. "And I fear the creatures of the forest were smarter then me today. But your beautiful presence offsets this lost."

Helena felt her cheeks getting warm over his words and she looked down at the grass, nearly ashamed as Godric gently took her slender hand into his large ones and lifted it to press a kiss onto her knuckles with a slight bow, his red beard stubbles tickling her skin. For a short moment they only looked into each others eyes, hands touching and Helena felt herself drifting away on the fluttering feeling in her stomach, imagining how his lips would feel on hers...

"Care to join me for a walk around the lake, Lady Helena?" Godric asked, offering her his arm and therefore ripping her from her thoughts.

"Um, sure, Sir Godric," she stuttered and took his arm, feeling hot and cold in the same moment. "It would be a pleasure."

They walked along the shore of the Black Lake in silence, admiring the nature around them and the innocent touch. The world around them seemed to have slowed down and had become unimportant, all that mattered was this moment between them. Every time they briefly glanced at each other there seemed to be so many unspoken words hanging in the air between them and Helena constantly thought about what to say next or what to do but she was not able to reach a good result because every possibility was far too shy, leading in the wrong direction, was too outgoing or not appropriate for a lady.

"Helena... I was... I was asking myself if... well, if you would like to accompany me on a ride tomorrow afternoon...," Godric asked hesitantly and Helena smiled shyly, her cheeks feeling warm. She was happy that he had spoken first, helping her mind to settle from searching for anything to say to him.

"I would be delighted, Sir Godric," she answered after taking in a deep breath. "If you may excuse me now, Sir Godric, I have some studies to continue. I will meet you tomorrow at the stables."

She smiled to herself as she gathered her skirts and ran over the green meadows towards the castle, feeling excited and happy while her heart was jumping in her chest and the butterflies in her stomach performed a dance of joy. They would go riding and they would talk... the thought of being completely alone with him, out of sight of everyone, made her nervous and enthusiastic at the same time.

Time had seemed to flow by slower than ever, at least Helena had the feeling that this was the case. After lunch the next day she had been reading a book, but unlike her usual manner she had not been able to concentrate at all, every few sentences she had looked out of the window to check the huge sun-clock in the court, but nothing had seemed to had happened. Her heart was burning with desire, she was craving for his touch, his smile, his voice more than ever. This was not a teenage crush any more, slowly the red-haired lion had found his way into her heart and Helena was sure that she loved him with all her essence and deeply hoped that he returned this affection.

The weather was wonderful, just like the day before, and Helena could not stop herself from jumping a little bit as she made her way towards the stables a little earlier then necessary, not able to sit in the library and wait any longer. The birds seemed to sing the melody of her heart and Helena found that being in love was the best feeling she had ever experienced.

Helena entered the stables and greeted her white mare, stepping into her box and kneeling down to check her hoofs just as she heard two talking men entering the stables. As she recognised Godric's voice she wanted to stand up and greet him with a smile, but then she heard what his companion, obviously Salazar, said:"Godric, I can not believe you are this blind! Don't you see that Helena is madly in love with you?"

"She is a girl, Salazar, she can't..."

"She can and she has! Did you never see how she blushes when you talk to her?" Salazar exclaimed and Helena gulped hard – she had always thought that her feelings were a secret that only herself knew about.

"But... Salazar, she does not think that... I mean, she does not imagine that she and I... that I would return her feelings?" Godric asked, sounding shocked, disbelieving and slightly afraid.

"She was sitting in the library all day, dreaming around and you, my friend, definitely gave her some signals that could have woken some hopes inside of her."

Helena could hear Godric gasp and she felt as if she had been slapped with full force as he stuttered:"I... I do not like her THIS way! Helena is a young girl, intelligent, beautiful, but I could never see her as anything else then Rowena's daughter! And I don't believe that she would ever think that I could have a romantic interest in her, it would be to foolish for a girl like Helena!"

Hot salty tears started to burn in Helena's eyes as Godric's words slowly reached her mind and she could not stay here any longer. She jumped to her feet, nearly stumbling against the horse next to her and ran past the two men. Through the blurred veil of tears she saw their surprised faces and Godric shouted her name as she exited the stables, but she did not stop, she did not care about what he had to say.

She did not knew how long she had been running, but somehow her legs were to weak to carry her any more and she sank to the ground to sit down, leaning against a old willow. Her eyes were dry and hurt from all the tears she had been crying during her run, but still she was sobbing as she tried to catch her breath. Never had she felt so much pain at once and it seemed as if Godric's words had ripped her innocent heart out of her chest, leaving her feeling betrayed and empty. She had imagined everything between them, she had been to absorbed into her dreams to see that he liked her as nothing more then a... a what?

Helena took a deep, shaky breath and pulled her knees to her chest, burying her face in the fabric of her dress.

What had she been to him? A friend, something like a beloved niece? And why had it felt so much like something more? She was not a girl with illusions any more, she was well educated and knew so much about the world... but now she remembered something her mother once had said to her:"There are things, Helena, you cannot learn from books – you have to experience them."

Helena guessed that this was such a thing – love, loving someone and interpret the signals from the other person... maybe she had seen everything far too rosy – love really could blind someone.

"Helena!"

She squeezed her lids shut as she recognised the voice of Godric and she wished that a hole would open up, making it possible for her to simply disappear. It would surely be humiliating, she feared, and her heart started to race at the thought that she was not ready to be confronted with him and the fact that she had believed in them as a couple.

"Helena, I was concerned about you! I am so glad I found you," Godric said and Helena twitched as she felt his gentle fingers on her shoulder, but the pleasant tingle that normally had run through her body at his touch was replaced by a bitter feeling in her guts.

"Helena..."

"Please, go away," Helena whispered, trying to control her voice to not show her vulnerability to him, but Godric ignored her words, sitting down next to her.

"I am... I never meant to wake false hopes within your heart, Helena. You are a wonderful young woman but... but..."  
>"You could never love a girl like me," Helena said, looking up into his green eyes and Godric looked a bit guilty.<p>

"You are lovely, but... you are Rowena's daughter, you.."

"I am not desirable," she murmured, a dark look on her face as she turned her head away, but Godric gently cupped her face so she had to look at him.

"No, no, Helena, you ARE desirable, it is just... men are strange persons, you are about to learn that, Helena and I... it does not feel right to have romantic feelings for the daughter of my best friend. You are... a really good friend, a sister and... and I love to spend time with you... this... this situation is just as confusing for as it is for you, Helena. Can't we... I wished we could just stay friends. Could we, Helena?"

The young woman sighed inwardly. This was the question she had hoped for, she wanted everything to be like always again, but still something inside her was fighting against the urge to agree to his plea. How should she be able to forget her own feelings and just go back as if nothing had happened?

"I... I don't know. Please give me some time, Godric."

"Okay," he murmured, sounding a little bit disappointed, but he said nothing more and she looked after him as he walked away, leaving her alone with her broken heart.


End file.
